We live in a world where people are often expected to be accommodating and put others before themselves. For many of us who grew up with people-pleasing and codependent patterns, this feels almost like an unspoken rule. We feel kind when we do it. But in reality, it’s anything but kind, and we need to reach a point where we recognize that it’s not – neither to ourselves nor to others. This is where "The Villain Era" is born.
So, what does the "Villain Era" really mean?This is a movement encouraging us to put ourselves first and break the invisible ties holding us back from a life filled with freedom and genuine love. It’s a time when we say no when we need to and yes to what truly serves us. Prioritizing personal growth and well-being might sound selfish, but in truth, it’s anything but – it’s a path to real, healthy relationships.
When I went through my "Villain Era," it wasn’t about becoming cold or selfish. On the contrary, I needed to find my way back to myself. The authentic me had disappeared beneath layers of adaptation, codependency, and people-pleasing. This change has helped me build a loving relationship with myself, and it has also given me the ability to meet others from a place of authenticity. By respecting my own needs and boundaries, I’m able to respect others as well. During this period of my life, I’ve also learned to communicate in ways that make my relationships stronger and more genuine. And who wouldn’t want that?
How the "Villain Era" Has Changed My Life
Saying no with love: I’ve learned to say no in a respectful way. By setting boundaries, I can actually give more of myself when I say yes.
Self-leadership and freedom: In my "Villain Era," I’ve stopped seeking others’ approval and have started trusting my own path. It gives me a freedom I’d never felt before.
Deeper relationships: Paradoxically, my relationships have improved. I’ve grown closer to my partner, my family, and my friends.
Breaking old patterns: When I stopped being the one who always solved everyone’s problems, I began to see my own worth and understand what I actually want from life.
Going through my "Villain Era" has been a liberating journey. It’s not just an end to old patterns but also a beginning – a beginning of a life I’m creating with intention, love, and genuine relationships. And the best part? I feel whole, maybe for the first time in my life.
So, if you’re ready to let go of people who don’t value your worth, or if you’re ready to say no when needed – welcome to your own "Villain Era." It might sound tough, but it’s one of the bravest and most self-respecting things you can do.
If you’re interested in my help I have an No More People Pleasing e-course, feel free to email me at bea@beatricekarinsdotter.se, and I’ll tell you more.
Beatrice
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